Jacob the Painfully Unfunny 6th grader
“I don’t think I can pronounce that— wait, can you spell it for me? I’ll put in the presentation.”
The 6th grade. English class. A guy named Jacob. We were starting our powerpoint presentation on Tuck Everlasting, and were put in pairs. Of course, when his name was typed out, there was no angry red line squiggling under all the letters like a snake. But on mine— well, that was a different story. “V, I, N, A, Y, A.” Almost instantly, that snake appeared. It was almost like a signal, a blaring “HEY. LOOK AT THIS WORD RIGHT NOW. THIS WORD IS WRONG.”
Jacob saw that, and to his 6th grader brain the angry red snake meant you had to click and hold to use autocorrect. And when ‘Vineyard’ and ‘Winnie’ showed up to save the day from the angry red snake and effectively erase me, Jacob thought this was the funniest thing in the world since bad minecraft memes. “Hey guys oh my god come over here look what came up in autocorrect for her name dude that’s soooo funny hahahaha!!!!!” What a comedic genius.
I sat there kneeling on that itchy carpet, stone faced, and ready to grab the ipad to put my real name down. I remember thinking, “why couldn’t the great company of Apple, who has created beyond evolutionary inventions like the iPhone and the very iPad we were using for the presentation, make my name ‘right’ too? Maybe I should become a Jacob or some Winnie variant, or maybe plainly just ‘Sam’, my alter ego when I order at food places that ask for ‘a name for the order’ because I don’t want the poor barista to struggle.
This is so funny and so sad at the same time- you tell a story in such a relatable manner. I think I corrected my name so many times at this point that autocorrect just gave up lol
ReplyDeleteThis is so relatable and sad. I loved the way you called the name you use for when you order food an "alter ego" because honestly that's exactly what it feels like. Your anecdote was also written really well with humor tied into it.
ReplyDeleteThis was such a common but sad moment so many of us face and I really liked how you explained the feelings behind these emotions. This was really fun and relatable to read!
ReplyDeleteHii I loved your way of expressing the annoyance that comes along with the lack of recognition of many immigrant names as names. To be honest I kind of forgot about the whole red underline and how irritating it is that it appears every time we type our names. I especially love the blatant sarcasm you built in.
ReplyDeleteI like how you use sarcastic phrases like “what a comedic genius,” to show your annoyance with his behavior. I think it really helps convey the pure irritation that people feel when others purposefully target their names.
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